Coming Home to Yourself: How Changing My Space Changed My Life
How do you turn a house into a home? Do you fill it with stuff? Do you hang a cute phrase from a big-box store on the wall? Do you keep it neat and tidy at all times? Do any of those things really make it feel like home?
Before COVID shut the world down, I didn’t really live in my home. At the time, I was staying in a tiny one-bedroom apartment, and the most I was doing to invest in the space was downsizing my furniture. I was living on my own again, having just left a five-year relationship, and everything I owned was for a larger space. Slowly, I was trading out pieces of my old life for my new one.
If you had told me then that in just over five years I’d be a homeowner, I would’ve laughed. Hard. I didn’t want anything to do with owning a home. I wasn’t even living in my space. My apartment felt more like a glorified storage unit — somewhere I refueled between work and distractions.
I was too busy chasing whatever definition of success I had at the time. And if I wasn’t working, I was running away from it all by traveling.
Oh boy, did I travel! 😍 Europe, Japan, Australia — oh my!
But I was also running myself ragged. My chronic pain and sleep issues hit a record high. I sometimes wonder if I would’ve ever slowed down long enough to choose a different kind of life if COVID hadn’t pressed pause for all of us.
Because when the world stopped, I started to see just how disconnected I was from my space and, honestly, from myself.
It’s been another five years, and so much has changed in that time. So much is still changing!
But they say that’s the one constant in life: change.
Want your house to truly feel like home? Let it evolve with you. Change your space as you change, and let go of what no longer serves you. A home can only support you if you actually live in it.
Truly. Deeply. Meaningfully live in your home.
Your home is not a storage unit for all your stuff — or your kids’, parents’, or grandparents’ stuff. It’s not just a place to eat, sleep, and get on with your life.
Your home is your sanctuary.
It’s your place in the world to come back to. You place to rest, to recharge, to reflect. It’s where you nurture yourself and the people you love. It’s your safe haven, and whether you’re parenting others or parenting yourself, your home should be supporting that care.
For your house to feel like a home, it needs to support you. You — and yes, anyone you care about who shares the space. It’s not about trends. It’s not about perfection or Pinterest-worthy corners. A home feels like a home when your needs are met and you feel the feels you want to feel.
So what does it mean to truly, deeply, meaningfully live in your home?
It starts with presence. It starts with noticing how you feel in your space. When you walk into a room, does it feel calm or chaotic? Cozy or cold? Overwhelming or inviting?
Is it how you want to feel?
What do you need?
What do you want?
It’s not that simple…
This past week, I started reworking my home office — for the freaking third time this year. Why? Because every time I walked into that room, I felt anxious. Stressed. Behind. Like there was so much to do and no space to breathe. Sound familiar?
I hit my breaking point. I went to drop another “to-do” reminder in the room and felt a physical revulsion. I didn’t even want to be in the room. 🙈
I knew something had to change because you can’t expect peace from a space that’s silently screaming.
But change is hard. It takes time. It’s challenging, even if it’s exciting.
And that’s the hard part of truly living in your home — you have to prioritize what needs to change.
And believe me, I get how easy it is to put it off. I get how easy it is to spend your time doing all the other things we tell ourselves are more important. And yes, some of them are! But it’s also important that we take care of ourselves. You can’t give from an empty cup… or some other piece of advice I’m still practicing in my own life.
Change often comes with a lot of grief. I see it in my clients all the time — helping them move, unpack, and evolve their spaces after major life transitions. And I feel it in my own space, too. The office “clutter” I have yet to go through includes the last vestiges of my previous life, my previous career.
So let me share with you what I’m so often reminding myself.
Go slow.
Change at your pace. There’s no award for getting it done first or faster. The dreamy redesigns we see on social media aren’t done in a weekend or even a month.
Turning a house into a home takes time. It’s a journey. A journey in self-discovery.
Enjoy the process, because you’ll never reach the destination unless you stop changing. To quote Martha Stewart…
“When you’re through changing, you’re through.”
Through my journey, I’ve alleviated much of my chronic pain and eliminated my sleep issues. Changing my home is truly changing my life.
Your home isn’t just a backdrop to your life — it’s a mirror of it and your primary interface for it. When you start tending to your space with intention, clarity, and care, something shifts. You begin to show up differently. You breathe deeper. You think more clearly. You rest more fully.
Your home can be a powerful ally in healing, growth, and transformation.
So take your time. Listen to what your space is telling you. Let it evolve as you do. Whether you’re creating calm in a single corner or reimagining an entire room, every step is part of the journey.
Where will your home take you?
Wherever it is, I hope it feels like coming home to yourself.